First of all, as to your friend moving, I think the best thing to do here is to listen to the old song line, "make new friends, but keep the old."  Just because he's moving doesn't mean you have to forever lose contact with him.  In this day in age, with so many ways to stay in touch with people, it is absolutely possible to stay friends.  Talk to him on AIM, MSN, Facebook, Myspace, the phone, through email...anything.  Additionally, depending on how far he's moving, you can perhaps still visit him on occasion.  Will it be sad to lose such a good friend?  Of course, but you aren't completely losing him.  Also, take this as an opportunity o meet new people.  There are lots of good people in the world that I'm sure would be great friends.  Go meet some of them!  If nothing else, they'll help you get past the pain of your friend moving.

As to your friends who self injure, I recommend that you do one thing, above all else.  Drop the "it's stupid" attitude.  You want to help your friends?  It's going to be really hard to do if you have the attitude that they are being dumb or immature.  Try to be understanding.  Cutting is a way of dealing with emotional pain, which they are obviously experiencing.  Help them sort out that emotional pain.  The best way to do this is just by listening.  Be there for them when they're down on themselves and need to talk to someone.  Let them know that you're here for them and you want to see them get through this.  Additionally, you may want to encourage them to talk to a doctor about cutting.  It is a dangerous habit, and you don't want to lose a friend to this.  Getting professional help is an important step towards recovery.

Finally, regarding your family, I think the really important thing to do is to start communicating.  What I'm hearing is a lot of lying yelling, screaming and misunderstanding.  This can be fixed with better communication between family members.  Sit down and tell them what's important to you.  Explain that a lot of what has happened lately has been hard on you, and that you want to get things straightened out.  I think if you put in effort into fixing things, your family may be more likely to follow your lead and do the same.  However, the situation won't just fix itself.  It's going to take time and patience and work.  You guys need to start learning how to work together all over again.

If you need to talk to anyone about all of this, feel free to open up an account here and send me a message.  I would be more than happy to listen.  

Take care.

Posted at 4:11 pm on Aug. 28, 2008

When friends move, we all feel like this.  And we find ways to overcome it.  We accept it.  We embrace it.  And we enjoy the time that is left until they move away.  And I think you could do just this.  Moving on is a simple thing though.  But what it leaves behind is what gets us.  It makes us emotional.  With that said, hes just gonna be gone in body.  Thats all.  He and you can always keep in contact.  You can talk every night if you feel like it.  This may never be the exact same.  But you know what?  Its a good thing that at least that is possible.  What if there was no way for you two to talk?  What if he really was to be gone forever with no contact?  Embrace this.  Accept whats going to happen in the near future.  And your sadness wont overwhelm you so much.  You will make it through this.

So the way I read it, just your friends cut?  You don't have to sit around and let this happen!  You want to be a very good friend?  Explain to them why they should stop.  Explain to them that its not getting any better.  Cutting is never the solution to the problems that they might be facing.  If I had friends that did this, I would see to it that they at least gave these two sites a look. Site 1 and Site 2.  So there are things you can do.  And you'll be a good friend in the process.  If you happen to be cutting or even start to think about it, read these sites too.  Gain as much knowledge as possible on the subject to aid in never starting.

Family always seems to have its problems.  Rumors get started and break apart families.  Rumors are heard and feelings are hurt.  But you know what?  We have to be stronger than them.  It seems as though you're letting everything get to you.  At the end, you said its just too much to explain.  This tells me that you worry about a lot of things and you're getting to a point where you almost cant go on.  You can and will go on.  Is there anyone to talk to around you?  Maybe another friend?  Not all your friends are moving away.  You still have many friends.  Talk to one or two of them and get all these feelings out.  Talk to family members individually and work these things out.  You don't need to have them on your shoulders.   Its ok to be concerned about family members getting hit.  And in fact, try to comfort them.  Be there for them.  If it gets serious, dont hesitate to bring other family into the situation.  But always save space and time for yourself.  You can do things you haven't tried before.  Or spend more time doing the things you love.  You can't make everyone happy.  And in the process, your happiness will leave you.  And I think this is just whats happening.  Think more about the positives of life.  Think about what you do have.  Have you heard of on line diaries?  These do wonders.  It gets all your thoughts out there and if someone happens to run across it, they can add comments. (If you allow this in the settings).  A good one is My Diary.  Someone can send "feedback" to you.

So all in all, communication and acceptance to the situations is what I feel is best for this time.  Talk to your friends.  Talk to your family members.  But keep in mind your happiness too.  This will lead you to staying happy and helping others too without jeopardizing the each other.

~jamesish~

Posted at 1:49 pm on Aug. 28, 2008