Hi there! I know how it feels to feel betrayed by a higher power. You can't blame it all on God though.
Think about your problems. Is there anything that you can do about them? Don't expect them to magically disappear just by asking God to change them for you. You need to give an effort. Religion often does help though.
If you feel that He is trying to speak with you, then listen to your deepest thoughts. He may be trying to communicate with you. Try talking with your local priest. He can help you.
If you hate what you have become, you need to do your best to change it for the better! You shouldn't just sit around and expect it to go back to being good. You need to take action!
In conclusion, talk to your priest. He can help you get a closer connection with God. Also try and work on your problems little by little. You can't expect Him to do all the work. Good luck with your problem. I hope it gets better! You can PM me anytime you want.
-Chris-
