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How do you respond when
your girlfriend tells you she had an abortion
Replies: 9Last Post April 13 12:44pm by bluebutterfly4ever

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( casesensitive30 )


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I've been seeing this girl for a few months and she told me she was raped and had an abortion a few years ago.  I know rape is tough to deal with help you can deal with the emotions involved.  Unusually, I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact she had an abortion, even under those unfortunate circumstances.  

I was wondering what kinds of emotions does one feel when they have an abortion and after they have an abortion?  

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"somethings you lose, somethings you just give away"


12:00 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2002 | 755 Days Active
Join to learn more about casesensitive30 New Jersey, United States | Male | 1882 Posts | 9423 Points
Pisciculus


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although ive never had one, i have heard depression is really common afterwards.

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"We're like two children on the playground of the unconfessed souls
abandoned by our mothers and our lovers and our foes..."

12:01 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined July 2006 | 444 Days Active
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IamMelissa


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probably scared, sad, upset, relieved

I dont know, I have never had one..

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So keep talking cause I love to hear your voice


12:02 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined April 2008 | 152 Days Active
Join to learn more about IamMelissa Texas, United States | Bi-curious Female | 2070 Posts | 4808 Points
greatescape11


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Relief.

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I prove a theorem and the house expands:
the windows jerk free to hover near the ceiling,
the ceiling floats away with a sigh

12:03 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 341 Days Active
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peekabeekaboo


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guilt, teribale, evil, nasty, dirty, like you should of been better then that.
but the guilt is really heavy

12:05 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2007 | 108 Days Active
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( casesensitive30 )


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I'd prefer responses from people who've had one or people who know someone who has had one.

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"somethings you lose, somethings you just give away"

12:06 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2002 | 755 Days Active
Join to learn more about casesensitive30 New Jersey, United States | Male | 1882 Posts | 9423 Points
BeX2506


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It's often something you never forget. All pregnancies are an emotional time, and it's a human life being lost. So most people get very emotional and depressed after an abortion. try to be supportive and understanding when she gets upset, and she may be particularly sensitive about sex, but you just have to support her. If she's ok with it then great but she did tell you for a reason.

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Looking up into a neon sky

12:09 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined April 2008 | 77 Days Active
Join to learn more about BeX2506 England, United Kingdom | Bi-curious Female | 1101 Posts | 1835 Points
islandgirl


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I work at a sex clinic and see a lot of women who have abortions- some under bad circumstances
Many are really relieved, I'd say that most are. It's such an emotional and physically stressful situation. Some don't want to have sex again for an undetermined amount of time. However of course some people are more emotionally upset about it than others. The only way you will know is if you talk to her about it- but keep in mind that she may NOT want to talk to you about it. Give her time, and be really accepting of what she wants to do and what she doesn't want to do- you may have to earn her trust more than another woman who hasn't gone through that.

12:10 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2008 | 59 Days Active
Join to learn more about islandgirl British Columbia, Canada | Straight Female | 599 Posts | 1336 Points
( casesensitive30 )


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thank you island girl, i read that many girls feel relieved online, but a lot of websites say that girls get like post tramautic stree disorder.

we talked about what would happen if she was to ever get pregnant with my child and she told me she would definietly get an abortion and she would feel more inconvienced than anything.  



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"somethings you lose, somethings you just give away"


12:18 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2002 | 755 Days Active
Join to learn more about casesensitive30 New Jersey, United States | Male | 1882 Posts | 9423 Points
bluebutterfly4ever


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i wouldnt know but ppl make choices n i know for a fact that if i would of been the one who was raped and got pregnant i know that i would of had an abortion...

ppl who get pregnant and had an abortion sometimes say that dey didnt want the child to remind them of that day but i believe that with or with out a baby from the rape u will always be reminded of that day...it can NEVER heal

that what i think

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love is hate


12:44 pm on April 13, 2008 | Joined Sep. 2007 | 177 Days Active
Join to learn more about bluebutterfly4ever California, United States | Lesbian Female | 329 Posts | 2176 Points
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