So all I've been doing is staring at my wall all day long. It's the same thing everyday. I sleep late because I'm up all night staring at my wall, then I wake late only to stare at my wall some more then go to sleep again. God who would have thought not having a job would be so terrible. My whole family is annoying me beyond belief because I have to be around them all day. I feel like I'm trapped, or being punished. I think everyday of what to do. I'm so depressed that no one will fucking hire me. I'm depressed that gas is so expensive. I'm depressed that I've got bills to pay every month and no job to pay them with. I've been using the bit of money I've saved up to get by. Pretty soon I'll have to start begging parents for money. God damn.
I feel like there is no way out. The only way out of this would be to shoot myself, and everyday I have a hard time thinking of reasons for why I should continue. I can't let life beat me like this however. My family loves me.
When I was attending my sophomore year at a university with my part time job I was stressed. Really stressed. There were times when I didn't think I'd make it through my classes. It stressed me to hell. I though that was bad. I had no idea things could get this bad. I don't think I'll ever be happy. The irony of chasing happiness.
Post edited at 8:29 pm on June 3, 2008 by Another Chance
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There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
- George Carlin
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