I feel so....down, so disconnected...so dead. I get waves of happiness and even then I fear my smiles are fake because deep down...I'm breaking and cracking...I'm falling and spiraling to a place I cannot get up from up.

I don't want to die...I fear death, yet I fear life...I fear that even after three years of help as a teen that I cannot recover...that I cannot ever be normal...yet these past few years are the most normal I've ever been. I gave up the past and have moved on...yet the past never truly goes away now does it? It haunts me...eats me alive at times...I hear those words repeated constantly "You're worthless and no one will ever love you..."

I try to forget...I try to remember I am someone...I am loved by someone...yet I fear that I'll lose it because I'm not good enough for anything. My self esteem is so low...so very low...yet no one could ever tell.

It'll be aright.  :]

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Unity is Strength :: Knowledge is Power :: Attitude is Everything.